Our obsession with our smartphones has not only changed the way we spend time, but the way we feel and think. In her first book, Unfriending My Ex: And Other Things I’ll Never Do, Kim Stolz, the former contestant on America’s Next Top Model who now works on Wall Street, talked to TIME about how social media has shaped her generation, digital breakups, people who check their phone during sex, and what it’s like to Google yourself when you’re an ex-reality show star.

Read the review of Unfriending My Ex.

You say in the book that you’re always thinking about text messages when you’re doing something else. If someone doesn’t text us back immediately, we feel like we’re not important enough for them to respond. Why do we connect these insignificant messages so much to our self worth?

I think the rise of social media is definitely correlated with…